To see if you're still alive, heat caramel in a pan until it spits asteroids on your arms. Take good care of your burns. Your scars should never last longer than two years. Pain needs a clean slate to play on.
Wear a red dress & let men pull at it all night. Your desire: to have your hair pulled, to bleed, to lick your wounds like a dog in heat.
Say you're sorry for getting angry. Say you're sorry for being angry. Say you're sorry that you're angry.
Anger is the emotion of men. By adding sugar, lime & salt you can turn anger into sadness as a good woman should.
Stop sobbing, it's ugly. Instead, emulate the glass tears on virgins who look up to the men who bruised their bodies.
Tell your man: You're machista. Have him repeat this statement back to you in html.
Like in the movies let the pot boil over, until he screams he'll send you back home to your mother. When he can't stop laughing, laugh too— become the foreigner who doesn't understand.
¡Ay pena penita pena! Listen to Lola Flores & search for the pain between your eyes on WebMD. Don't feel bad if you sob in one room while he reads about aporia in the next.
Like la Lola Flores, you have beautiful hair; unlike la Lola, sell it to make rent.
Laugh when he says: Mi'ja, cabróna, ingrata & eres mía. Assure him he's not turning into his father.
When he says you are letting this happen, don't reply. Put his fingers in your mouth & hold your breath when he asks: Who taught you to hate yourself?
Two ids walk into one body & fight over whether to break melon on the kitchen counter & eat it by the fistful or to throw the melon out a shut window & watch it break on the pavement, stabbed by shards of glass.
Sorry, for yelling through the speaker at the McDonald’s drive thru. Sorry, for not letting you through the door first. Sorry, I ate the dozen donuts in fifteen minutes over the sink. Sorry, I sound shrill, sound dumb, sound ditzy, sound spacey. Sorry, mom. I mean, mamá. I mean, miss. I mean, nevermind.
Dear body: Cut the melon into slices with the sharpest knife you can find & enjoy the pain you are causing this melon. Stop saying you’re sorry, instead feel guilty for being shrill, being dumb, being ditzy, being spacey. Feel guilty because your mom is your mamá is your miss is the one who is guilty for giving you this body with two ids, & one ego, & one superego who hush-hushes you whole.